The Best Reason to Speak!

This week I had the honor of speaking to the New Jersey Dental
Forum, one of the original Seattle Study Clubs led by Drs. Tony and
Buck DiCesare. The setting was perfect and the location, the historic
Molly Pitcher Inn, lent itself well to the event, the year end dinner
for their study club. My subject was one of my favorite keynote
topics, T.O.R.C.H.E.S.; How to deal with Any Crisis, Any Time! From a
speaker's standpoint I felt the presentation went well in that people
were attentive and stayed for the entire 90 minutes in spite of the
fact that it was a beautiful evening and a Wednesday night at that.
For those who may not be acquainted with T.O.R.C.H.E.S. it stands for
tell yourself the truth, establish order in the situation, take
responsibility to deal with the situation even though it may not be
your fault, act with courage, embrace humility, empower others, and do
it all with stamina. Afterward a dentist came up to me and confided
that 7 years ago he and his wife had lost a son at 18 months to sudden
death. The depth of sadness over this was so apparent in his face
that my own heart was filled with deep compassion for him and his
wife. But rather than telling me more of his issues he said that what
I had talked about in T.O.R.C.H.E.S. had helped him to put a framework
around his life, where he'd been and where he was now. He thanked
me for helping him to look at things in a new way, we exchanged cards
and we will definitely stay in touch. I had other great conversations
with folks and several mentioned events in their lives that had rocked
them as well. Then it was time to pack up and get ready for a 6 am
trip to the airport, an all too common routine for speakers.
Sitting in my room I recalled what I always pray before I speak,
that God would make my words meaningful to at least one person in the
room that night. That's all I ask, just one person. Thankfully,
people often come up to talk about what happened to them or their
family and how the T.O.R.C.H.E.S. presentation touched them.
That is why I keep speaking! I believe in the value of
T.O.R.C.H.E.S. not as an end, the final word on crisis management, but
rather as a vehicle to open some of the doors of people's hearts that
they have vowed never to open again. The opportunity to hear me speak
about the trials our family has endured and how we have dealt with
them often brings hope to my listeners. And with hope we can
accomplish many things.
So, even though the speaking engagements make my life busier than I
want to be and pull me away from my practice more times than I desire
I wouldn't trade those opportunities for anything because
opportunities lead to relationships and that is what this is all about!